This Morning's Milestones
Baby: First day in gym day care! Mama: First boxing class p.p.! First workout on a rebounder since 3 months of pregnancy! O joy! Things went well for both of us. It feels so good to sweat and to move. I usually wish it was a more anonymous experience, since members and fellow staff alike all know me, but today it felt nice to have so much recognition, coaching, and encouragement. Teanna held the heavy bag for me as I pounded it for 2.5, then 5, minutes. "Am I doing it right?" It had been so long. "Yes!" she said. "Look at your endurance--better than my advanced class!" I balanced on the Rolo board; I got pushed and coached and pummeled by Joanna; I took VJ's advice on the Stepmill; I shined and sweated and felt excited and happy and strong. My baby cried a little, and got held a lot, but stuck it out for an hour in that day care, cared for by two women named Maria. When I left her there, she was looking into the face of one of the Marias, her eyes bright with stimulation and curiousity. "Enjoy your workout!" said the other Maria. And I relaxed.
That kind of positive energy further reinforced my conviction after a tumultuous weekend: it's time to only hang around people who are kind to me, inspire me, and make me feel good. On both days, by happenstance, I spent time with people who just don't seem to like me. It doesn't matter what I do or how many years pass. Usually I grin and bear it, but I can't right now. Feeling bad is too much of an imposition in these days of 24/7 responsibility for my little peony. I don't have room in my heart.
My experiential tips for brand new moms:
1. Hang around people who are good to you.
2. Find a new mom's group and go. If the people are good to you.
3. Work out, and make sure you sweat. But don't do it until it sounds good. Then do it every day.
4. Don't stress about those moms who do whatever you just can't right now. For me, reading literature while breastfeeding, not sleeping during the day, cooking delicious food, and sewing clothes for my baby are all out of my reach. It's not exactly OK with me, but my baby seems pretty happy, so something is working.
5. Lactation consultants all say different things, but sticking with one who works for you is really valuable.
6. Buy comfy, warm loungewear you find attractive! Nothing fits post-baby.
7. Remember this: "The first couple months are rough." But I hear it gets easier after that.
8. Keep a long view of things while savoring the moment. Your body will not always be like this: Comforting. You will get nights with your husband again: Comforting. But also, she won't ever be 6 weeks and 1 day again. She won't ever hear herself make that noise for the first time again. Be present. It's fleeting.
In short, it's hard to be comfortable when you have a newborn, both physically and emotionally, so make your life as comfortable as you can. But stay aware.
And someday, you'll have a night like Peony did last night: 5 hours and 15 minutes of straight sleep--a new record. A new milestone!
