It's In Moments

Scene:
Bathroom, just after a wonderful warm evening bath. I am still in the tub, and my baby daughter is lying on her towel on the bathmat, being toweled dry and dressed in her pajamas by my husband. Now all dry and warm, she looks over at me and dazzles with a killer smile. And she coos, a kind of gurgle ending in a long vowel. I coo back, a clear high pitch. And she answers, in the same high pitch. I do it again, and she answers again, with gusto. Blue and I look at each other and laugh, and Peony and I repeat. And repeat. Each time she brings her voice up louder and louder. She arches her back to get the sound out, lifting her chin and taking a few seconds to really try to form the vocalization. It is so wonderful, so much more wonderful than I could have imagined parenting might be. I actually have the thought, "This might be one of the happiest nights of my life." Her beautiful voice experimenting with sound and communication, her eyes sparkling with pleasure, talking to her mama, right at the beginning of her life, moves us both to tears. Later, Blue mentions how much more special it was because we were both there, sharing it together. I think about being in his arms in a river in Costa Rica at the beginning of our relationship, and how we didn't know we had this experience in front of us. But I remember crying on the plane back home, telling him how I wanted a home and children with him. I love him so passionately, and this moment is part of our love affair. And yet, it's something else, too; something outside of us. A different person, learning what she can do. Those happy eyes, excited by her new strengths. Every day, a stronger girl.